A Church Rumor and The Truth

It was the second Sunday in a row I didn't go to church. When Pete and our boys left, I felt guilty about not going. It was a ritual, church then Bailey's for Brunch; every Sunday since the twins were two, now going on nine.

I sipped from the now cooling mug of coffee, staring out the window, trying to fight the guilt of lying to Pete about back pain and not being able to sit through the entire service. I've been using the back pain excuse often lately. I said it was why I didn't go to my part-time job at the church or skipped the women's auxiliary meeting. Did he know I was lying? Is that why he gave me a sad look before leaving or didn't kiss me?

"You want to meet us at Baliey's?" He asked before ushering the boys out the door. Hesitating, I said if my back felt better. He shook his head and closed the door as guilt consumed me.

The sad part was that I had no reason for guilt except not going to church and lying about my back. It was the damned rumor going around about Zack and me. Not that anything was going on between us. He was head of the board of directors for the church. My part-time job there included writing a monthly newsletter and a weekly Blog. Zack and I had coffee a few times in the evening to go over details for my writing. He worked during the day, and it was easier to meet in the evening. Pete and Zack's wife Alice knew we met and why.

I admit there seemed to be a mutual attraction between us, but we both loved our spouses. He and Pete played golf occasionally. Alice and I often worked on church social events and saw each other at PTA meetings. There was no way Zack and I could or would jeopardize our marriages no matter how strong our attraction.

Mom told me about the rumors going around, that maybe something was going on between us.  She didn't believe them but suggested we find a better way to communicate. I actually laughed at the ridiculous idea. She gave me one of those 'mother-daughter stern looks and quipped, "Ann. several people have hinted about a possible affair going on with two people from the church. They didn't specifically mention you but suggested I warn you that people are talking."

After her warning, I called Zack, suggesting we meet at the church when others are around. He agreed and said he also heard the rumor but didn't think it was about us.

Was it because of other people's suspicion that I suddenly noticed Alice seemed to avoid me or look at me with less than a friendly smile? Was I becoming paranoid thinking that Pete had become much less affectionate, that perhaps he was also suspicious?

I poured the cold coffee into the sink, rinsed the cup, set it on the counter, and decided I would not go to Bailey's for Brunch. Zack and Alice would be there as usual. I needed to figure out how to work around the rumor and approach Alice and let her know nothing was happening. I determined I would bring it up to Pete after the boys went to bed.

I showered, dressed, did some routine cleanup, and started working on the info Zack had given me for the newsletter and Blog. Before I knew it, I heard the front door open, expected to hear the boys dashing to the game room to watch TV, and was surprised it was quiet.

"You guys home?" I called.

Pete came to my office door. "I dropped the boys off at Mom's. She's going to bake cookies with them."

"That's nice. How was brunch?" I turned off the computer.

"Ann, we have to talk." He motioned for me to follow him.

In the kitchen, he pulled a bottle of wine from the rack on the top of the refrigerator, opened it, and poured two glasses.

Oh, oh, I thought, here it comes. He's heard the rumors.

Before I could say anything, he guided me to the living room, nodded for me to sit on the couch, and sat in a chair across from me. As I sipped the wine, he blurted,

"Ann, I've been seeing someone."

For a few seconds, I stared at him, not sure what he said.

"I didn't mean for it to happen. It just did. Believe me, I tried to stop it."

When reality set in, my hands began to shake. I put the wine glass on a side table and stared at him, not really believing what I was hearing.

"It started a couple months ago." He gulped his wine, grabbed the bottle, poured more into his glass as I sat silently dumbfounded.

"Alice and I," that's all I heard for a moment before muttering, "You and Alice? Zack's Alice?"

Nodding, he looked beyond me. "We were concerned about you and Zack meeting at the diner. We got together to talk about it. One thing led to another and," he paused.

"You and Alice?" I was in stunned disbelief.

"Ann, I'm sorry. I really am, but we've decided we want to be together."

"You and Alice?" I almost laughed. It was so far-fetched in my mind.

"I've rented a small apartment in Henderson. I think it's better if I'm not here in town. I mean, we think it's better.

"You and Alice are moving in together?" Does Zack know?"

"She's telling him now."

"Have you told the boys?"

"No. I'm going to pack a few things, and I'll stop by mom's and tell them.  She said she'd bring them home."

"Your mom knows?" I jumped up, stomped to the window. "Who else knows, Pete? The whole damned church?" I suddenly turned towards him. "You and Alice are the two the rumor has been about. That's what they wanted my mom to warn me. Not Zack and me. You and Alice." I had to fight the anger as it twisted with emotional pain.

"Ann. I'm sorry. We never meant to hurt you or Zack or the boys. We tried to stop it."

"How noble of you both!" I seethed as anger took over. "How mighty damned noble of you. I'm sure it caused you great stress."

"There's no need to talk anymore if you are going to be unreasonable about it. I'm going to pack."

I was speechless. Anger was obstructing the pain. I held back sobs. I wanted to stay angry. I wanted to pound him, hate him, scream at him. I watched him hurry from the room and gulped back any words. Refilling my wine glass, I sat on the couch and stared at the empty doorway. I could hear him moving upstairs, drawers opening, closing.  I focused on keeping my hands from shaking and spilling the wine. I fought hard to stop tears. I battled the anger rising like bitter bile. Closing my eyes, I heard him coming down the stairs and sensed him standing in the doorway. Then the front door shut. He was gone.

I wondered what he would tell the boys. Thought about what to tell my mother. I pulled the cell phone from my pocket and dialed.

 "Are you okay?" I asked when the call was answered.

"I'm not sure. What about you?" Zack asked.

"It's not going to be easy. I know that."

"No, it isn't. It was like a bombshell hit me." He paused. "I had no idea. Did you?"

"No!" I started to cry and knew sobs were on their way.  "I have to call my mom," I stammered over the lump in my throat.

"Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

I clicked off after mumbling that I would. I thought about Pete, saying he and Alice tried to not let it happen and how many times Zack and I made sure it never happened. Because we did, we became good friends instead of lovers. I am glad we are friends. I know until this hurt dies, I am going to need a good friend.

I dialed mom, wondering if she knew the truth about the church rumors.

The End


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M. Bradley McCauley 

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